Monthly Archives: September 2009

Dear Dream Fairy,

Next time you throw a Bjork sex dream my way, could you please be gracious enough to allow me to co-star in my own dream instead of some douche bag from some MTV reality show? Thank you for your consideration. -deadponies

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Dearest B______,

What did you think of his second hand apology? I loathe the use of the word “never,” but I will never forgive it because it included you. It’s not his fault, he couldn’t possibly know what you meant to me. (I’m relieved I told you during your lifetime.) But I still won’t forgive, not while...

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